i look back on where i'm from, look at the woman i've become

This is a picture me at age 19 (don't even worry about it), cosplaying as Sailor Moon.

Listening to: "Wig In a Box" - Hedwig and the Angry Inch


Wow, my blog is kind of a buzz-kill. I swear I am not this melodramatic all of the time. Well, maybe...

My blog in high school was much more angst-ridden, if you can believe it. This is how much of a basket case I was. Don't you looovvve the awesome, Final Fantasy VIII inspired layout?

Tonight I was thinking about my childhood dream: to become a cartoonist. I used to draw some pretty profound comics when I was young. Getting into anime was pretty much fate. It's quite comical to me how some things about us never change. I still research anime and manga that I haven't read. I'm watching a new shoujo (meaning "girl") anime right now called Toradora. It's a really adorable, slice-of-life story about kids in high school. Maybe there is a reason behind why I still love high school dramas. I always wanted to have a shoujo manga ("girl comic book") experience. Can this post get any more nerdy? Possibly...

i have a thing for butterflies...

Ayumi Hamasaki's album, ayu-mi-x III Acoustic Orchestra Version. A little fun-fact for today: my blog is titled after one of Ayu's songs!

Listening to: "Magnolia" - The Hush Sound


I am ready to climb out of my hole. I feel like a caterpillar stuck in a cocoon. I want to emerge from this mesh-like silk with colorful wings and the ability to fly. I just don't think I was made to be a lowly larva. Or maybe this is just the meds talking.

how did i get here?

lolcats. One thing that makes me "lol" (hah, so clever!) without fail.

Listening to: "22" - Lily Allen


My life needs fixing. I've been complacent with living my life on autopilot, but I fear that my lifestyle has gotten the best of me. I feel like nothing; like vapor. I am inhaled and exhaled but never held in. Am I that toxic? At age twenty-two, how is it possible to hit rock-bottom for the fourth time in my life?

a letter

Roy Lichtenstein's Drowning Girl.

Listening to: "Together" - The Raconteurs

To whom this may concern,

I'm so not important enough to gossip about, so please don't. Thanks!


Sincerely,

M

friendship is rare

BFFF

Listening to: "Will You Return?" -The Avett Brothers


Allison left Utah last night. I haven't cried yet, but I usually don't cry until I'm alone. Luckily, I have people with me. I don't think it will hit me until I come home from work and she's not there. It's so hard to adjust when I am used to seeing someone every day and now she's not around. I mean, you know you have found a good friend when people think you're gay with them. :)